Mental health over Christmas

For a lot of people, Christmas is full of love, happiness and festivities. For many others, however, it is a time when they struggle. Many can be at risk of violence or aggression, either as part of a continued cycle that they live in, or through people excessively drinking. Many, young and old, are at risk of abuse and neglect this Christmas time. And all ages are facing the daily wrestle with their mental health problems.

It can be an extremely difficult time. Media tells us we should be happy, joyful, and excited for the festivities. However, when you already struggle to feel happy, this added pressure can make you feel worse.

I will always remember something the late Robin Williams once said

“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.”

Now, I am not saying for a moment that the people around us act in a way to make us feel worse. For many, they will not even be aware of how you are feeling, unless you have opened to them. However, when those around you are celebrating and enjoying the festivities, if you struggle to involve yourself in this, then you can end up feeling isolated and apart from the crowd.

So what can be done?

For those of you getting involved in a big get together, maybe with the extended family and friends, just remember there may be one person in your group who doesn’t want to get excessively drunk and sing at the top of their voice. Rather than telling them to get in the spirit, or stop being grumpy, just take 5 minutes out to join them on the couch, or by the food, and just give them the chance to say hi. Be there, and it might just make their day.

Also, and I cannot stress this enough, if you see someone being physically or verbally abused, please speak up. Do not shrug it off as simply a drunken domestic, or the stress of Christmas. Yes, it might be a one off, but it could be a lot more. Just saying something can often be all that is needed. Of course, if it requires it, please contact the local authority in your area, and don’t get involved in being physical yourself.

Finally, remember the elderly in your area. I am not saying you have to invite them for lunch, or spend all day with them. But, if you know who they are, and think that they may not have had any family come round, then take them that last mince pie, or slice of cake. Offer to have a sherry with them. Just make sure they see someone. You never know, you may end up finding they have lived in the same area and knew your parents or grandparents as well.

For those of you in need, please seek help. A number of charities will still be open and happy to talk and listen. Rather than sit her and list every single charity that can help, please click here and it will give the main charities in your area.

I would like to wish all of you the best, and look forward to hearing from you in 2018.

 

Stay strong. Stay you

 

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What the General Election could mean for mental health

Theresa May has taken the somewhat surprising step of calling a general election only two years into the current Governments term. Whilst the reasons for doing so will be discussed for many years to come in history books, there is a very real question which must be answered. What does a general election mean for the mental health services.

In 2015, every main political party was talking mental health. They knew it was a topic that people cared about, and wanted to be seen as being willing to act on it. Going into this election, each party must maintain this desire to help and, most importantly, ensure it is key in the actions of the next government.

Whoever wins the election must, without any shadow of a doubt, enforce and deliver the promises that were made within the Five Year Forward View for Mental Health (the national plan to improve mental health). If they really want to act correctly on mental health however, they need to go beyond this to ensure that mental health is treated on an equal footing with physical health.

The Five Year Forward View for Mental Health was a landmark moment. It set out the details on a plan to invest £1 billion into mental health services, and improve care by 2021. All national bodies, including the NHS, who deliver services and support agreed to do their role in ensuring its delivery.

The only way we can ensure that this will happen is by targeting each and every candidate standing in your constituency. Get them to answer the question. Will they ensure that the Five Year Forward View for Mental Health is honoured and acted upon? You can either do this by attending a local hustings session, where you can put forward your question to be answered, or in writing either on social media or e-mail/post. However you do it, make sure it is done in a way where the answers can be recorded and shared, or where those who refuse to answer are publically seen to be shying away from it.

And, the most important thing you can do this election is to vote. If you are over 18, make sure you have your say. Do not believe people when they tell you that your vote won’t matter. As we have seen recently, in elections all over, votes do matter. If you haven’t registered to vote, then all you have to do is click here and put in your details.

Remember, only by working together can we ensure a better future for those with mental health.

Romanticising Mental Illness must end today

I would apologise, and say this isn’t my normal piece offering hope and words of advice. But, this piece cannot come with an apology. It needs to be said. People need to listen; to understand. If everyone does not listen, we face a bigger problem than the stigma originally around mental health.

Logging into many websites, and I will once again use Tumblr as an example, following the same key words as you will find this post under will bring up an array of posts. Black and white images, accompanied by subtitles. Hand written statements, talking of low self-esteem. Posts from one person talking about emotional well-being, with thousands of notes attached to it, each person adding their apparent caring.

I will say this, and without holding back. Yes, mental illness and low self-esteem requires the breaking of barriers and stigma. But, today, that message has got lost, and, instead, we are faced with a movement which, for want of a better word, romanticises these conditions. And this, in itself, is dangerous.

I’ve been treated for mental health illnesses since I was about fourteen. I have been on numerous medications, had all types of out-patient treatment, and also in patient care. I have been diagnosed, and treated for, depressions, anxiety, PTSD and a few more besides. I was lucky. I was able to get treatment relatively quickly, initially as a paediatric patient on the NHS, and then privately through insurance. However, I recognise that most young people today are not this fortunate. Many will wait firstly for the primary carer to believe what they are saying, and then for a referral to see a professions which seems to never materialise. This is why online support must be appropriate and responsibility must be taken by those who publish material in the public domain.

Look, lets be honest, there is still a stigma around mental health. Yes, it is slowly disappearing. Those in the public eye are willing to use their past in order to break down the barriers, and get people talking. The build up to this years London marathon saw that, culminating in Prince Harry discussing his history with mental health. Yet, there is still the stigma. When I first started dating my now fiancée, I had to work out when the right time was to open up and tell her. I couldn’t do it too soon for fear of scaring her away. Yet, I couldn’t leave it too long for fear of being accused of letting them in without full awareness. So, in that sense, a stigma still survives.

To put it in a nutshell, people on both sides want to break down these barriers and make talking about mental health as normal as talking about the weather. Unfortunately, when people go onto the internet, they lose the real world safety nets. Namely, professionals, friends and family. Once online, and I now talk from personal experience, shutting off the pain of having a mental illness is easy. When you know you are surrounded by people of a similar mindset, then change is not needed. And, it is in this setting, that ideals are formed, and the condition becomes romanticised through art.

Logging into a platform such as Tumblr, when suffering from a mental illness, seeing a page full of others suffering, is not a help, but a danger. And it is a danger which goes unchallenged. You see, there is a culture which has now grown up causing people to idolise mental illness. It encourages self-harm, self-medication and, at the extreme end, suicide with the belief of immortality as a lost soul. I am not for a minute saying that every person who logs onto sites like this and sees this images will go onto commit suicide, but the risk is there. It can suck people in, to make them believe that being part of this community is far better than going through the pain that is therapy. Somehow, it convinces people that through embracing mental illness, glorifying it as a tragedy, and staying within these isolated communities where people do not encourage you to get the help and live aside from your mental illness, is somehow the answer.

Well, let me tell you, it isn’t. Locking yourself away, inside an online community which feeds on those in need, in the hope that you do not seek help from those who can provide it, is not the answer. I met people on Tumblr which, at the time, I considered friends. When my account became inactive, on the advice of my doctor, I started getting messages asking me to come back, to be part of the group. And this highlighted it to me. They do not want people to get better. They want their isolated pocket, where people feed off each other, to remain.

Sites such as Tumblr have a responsibility. They need to step up, and see what is actually going on within their platforms. Within their online site, a small message pops up asking if people wish to continue to be able to see these images. On their app, there isn’t even this. And this is completely unacceptable. Sites are right now clambering to show that they are willing to do all it takes to prevent certain users from sharing information or images, in order to comply not only with laws, but public image. Now is the time for them to step forward, and truly show their want to protect people and do the right thing.