Just a little light bulb

I haven’t written much for this blog in a while, and for that I apologise. The main reason is I have decided to spend time in reflection. Not about my current situation, but rather the journey I have made to get here.

I know it sounds cliché, but life most definitely is a roller coaster. It throws you around at high speed, with only the smallest safety bar to keep you in place. It’s a great ride whilst you are out in the open sun, feeling the wind in your air. And then, before you realise it, you can be plunged into darkness; struggling to see an exit whilst feeling as though you are free falling.

One piece of text I always remember, which has a lot of meaning behind it, was written by J. K. Rowling, through her character Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter. “Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

Whilst it can be taken for the usual understanding of there is a light at the end of the tunnel, or to find that one thing in your life which is good and to cling onto it, I personally have a different way of thinking about it.

Scrolling through Tumblr (see my previous posts on this toxic website), there are hundreds, even thousands, of sketches associated with hanging. Whether black and white photos of nooses, or hand drawn sketches, in my own mind, I add the smallest of details to change it.

Take the hand drawn noose. They are normally pretty basic with a straight line leading to an oval at the bottom. By simply adding an additional line from the top of the oval to half way into it, in my own mind, I have changed that depressive image, into a light bulb, full of light, warmth and energy.

And that’s the thing that people struggle to do in their own heads. They cannot see the light when they are at the darkest. And that is where you, as friend and family, come into it. You need to help them turn that noose into a light bulb. You need to turn the blade into a hand written note from you to them. Turn the gun into a cup of coffee.

The most important thing though, above anything else, is to be patient with the person. There are times we will be frustrating. Times we will be infuriating. Times we will make you cry. But it is not done against you. It’s not deliberate. It is because, at times, we don’t know how else to be, or what else to say or do.

But, we will forever be grateful. Friendship, family, having that by our side, it means we can, in years to come, reflect back. And that, between you and me, can be the difference between everything and nothing.


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